TITLE:Car X Talk

AUTHOR: Tesla 

RATING: G

ARCHIVE: Let me know so I can dote 

SPOILERS: Not really 

DISCLAIMERS: If Ten Thirteen is even reading this, settle with Duchovny! 

SUMMARY: With apologies to Fox, 1013, NPR, and Tom and Ray Moliazzi

"It's time for a feature we call Stump the Chumps," said the radio host.

"That's where we revisit a prior listener and see if our advice worked," said his co-host.

"Today, we have Fox, from Arlington, Virginia. He called us several years ago about a massive electrical problem in his Ford Taurus. Let's play the tape."

"We were on a two-lane highway at night---" said the listener, obviously in mid-explanation.

"We?"

"My partner and I."

"Is this a fancy way of saying girlfriend?"

The listener laughed. "No, we're federal agents. We were on an investigation."

"Wait a minute! You're not with the IRS?" cried one host. "In that case, you've called the wrong show! This is the jazz hour!" All three men laughed.

"Now, as it turns out, Fox is an FBI agent, and has nothing to do with the IRS, so we answered his question. Are you there, Fox?"

"Yes, I am."

"And for the record, we haven't talked to you since you called, and as far as you know, the government isn't interested in us at all, is it?"

"Well, unless you can make a connection between your show and the cuts in funding to public radio," the listener replied.

"Hey! That's probably right!"

"Anyway, the Taurus had a massive electrical failure, and there was no sign of any trouble, but the car was flooded with light?"

"That's right. The car stopped, and both of us were literally blinded for a few seconds."

"Then the car started up again, with no sign of anything wrong, but when you got back to town, your watch, and your partner's watch were both nine minutes slow."

"Fox, were you investigating UFO's?" The hosts laughed.

"How'd you guess?" More laughter.

"Anyway, we speculated that the computer chip had malfunctioned, and caused all the lights, including the interior light, and the dashboard lights, to flare up. Since Fox was driving down a road in the country, the flash was more noticeable," said Tommy.

"Tommy at first wondered if there had been a random lightning strike, but the lights and radio wouldn't have come back on," Ray said.

"So, Fox, what was it?"

"It wasn't the computer chip." The program played the mocking "wahwahwah" sound of a horn. "Actually, they couldn't figure it out, and they couldn't figure out at all about the watches. The closest the dealer came up with was, a magnetic storm."

"So we were partially right---some kind of electrical disturbance."

"Nah, nah, we were right when we said a UFO! Fox, have you had the problem since?"

"No, but I left that one with the dealer. It was leased, anyway."

"Well, thanks for playing stump the chump with us!"

X-files Fic