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TITLE: Mockingbird, Part 7
AUTHOR: Tesla and dessert_first
RATING:
SPOILERS:
CHARACTERS: Angel/Anya, Xander/Cordelia, Fred/Gunn/Wesley, Spike/Buffy, Tara/Willow, Gwen/Lilah, Lindsey/Darla
DISCLAIMERS:
SUMMARY:
NOTES: Set in Anya!World.Very AU. In this universe, Darla wasn't re-vamped, Anya got the visions in our previous episodes.
-----
Cordelia strolled into the Hyperion ahead of Xander, giving him a proprietary slap on the ass and a wink as she breezed by, and handed Gunn a mesh bag. "Okay," Xander clapped his hands and rubbed them together briskly. "What have we got? It's bright and early on a Saturday morning and I'm looking for teenage dimensionally misplaced runaways, but in an incredibly good mood about it."
Gunn laughed, unpacking Cordelia's food and adding it to the pile on the reception desk. "We got bagels, we got cream cheese, we got tofu cream cheese, we got fermented nut cheese, we got assorted other toppings, we got latte lattes and soy lattes and stuffy Englishmen's tea. Name your poison."
"Ooh, what's the least healthy thing you've got? Is that chocolate spread?"
"It's organic," Gunn squinted at the label. "Darla brought it."
"Nothing but the best for my boys," Darla smiled from her perch next to Lindsey on the sofa. She took another sip of her soy latte and bit into a bagel heaped with sprouts, capers and tomato. "You'll need energy to come find Stephen."
Lindsey smiled indulgently, sipping his coffee.
Cordy and Gunn were arguing over the merits of Darjeeling versus chai when Fred stuck her head out through the office door.
"Oh, good, the food's here," she said. "Bring me an poppy seed bagel with everything on it, would you honey? And, uh, you guys all better get in here. We're working on the Stephen situation."
::
The members and associates of Angel Investigations (a Division of AnyankaEnterprise, LLD) all crowded into the office. Fred pounced on her bagel as if it weren't following fast on the heels of two others.
"Donut?" Wesley offered.
"Well, maybe just one," Cordy said. "Those things go straight to your hips, you know."
"Really?" Gunn looked intrigued. He discreetly slid the box over in Fred's direction. "Something to wash down that bagel, baby?"
"So, my dears," Darla broke in. "What have you found out so far?"
"Ahem, yes. Everyone, please, sit..." Wesley looked around the crowded office with its inadequate supply of chairs. "Well, anyway. We had the tracking chip's monitor set on voice-recognition, and so far, Stephen hasn't spoken to anyone. Just ambient sounds. It does sound like he's eating and drinking and, er, urinating..." The group collectively eyed their beverages in distaste. "Yes, I know, but you did ask. This is a very sophisticated program."
"I guess it's useless to ask Anya if she's had any more visions about the kid," Cordelia mused.
"Yeah, it is," Angel said. He had been sitting in the shadows of the office, silent, and now he stood up and leaned against the wall. He was still wearing his long black coat, and it was dusty.
Cordelia grabbed Xander's hand. "Is she okay?" she asked Angel. "Is Anya okay?"
"I don't know," Angel said heavily. "She's left me. All her things are gone." He rubbed his fingertips across his eyes. "I've been searching for her all over the city but I can't find her. She won't answer her cell. No one's seen her. And Lorne's up in Las Vegas."
Xander heard an irritating buzzing noise, and waved at his ear. "Gnat," he said to Cordelia.
"Don't worry, Angel," Fred laid a sympathetic hand on his arm. "She's bound to turn up somewhere. I just hope she isn't holed up somewhere dank and depressing, just wallowing."
"Never been much of a wallower, that girl," Xander observed.
::
"Darling, believe me, I came right over!" Hallie took a delicate sip of her mimosa. "D'Hoffryn sends his regards, by the way."
"Don't even start," Anya said, unfolding her napkin. "I needed some time to get the out-patient rooms up to code, anyway."
"A convalescence hotel for demon plastic surgery--it's money, darling!"
"Yes, and since we have the pan-dimensionality matrix right here, it's insane not to use this wing of the hotel. I don't think Angel's even been over here since we moved in. Of course, he's checked it all out, and we did spruce things up a bit for the launch party." Anya looked critically around the small, intimate restaurant. "I'm thinking about putting the gift shop right there, just inside the door. Kind of like how Cracker Barrels do. Shop while you eat."
Hallie closed her menu. "Eggs Benedict," she told the Boje demon waitress.
"What kind of eggs would you like, ma'am? We have an extensive selection of--"
"Chicken will do." Hallie waved her away, then transferred her bright-eyed attention back to Anya. "My, you do think of everything! So this gift shop, you're going to sell the stuff that you have online?"
"Well, of course!" Anya said briskly. She slid a print-out across the tablecloth. "The Gunn action figure is doing very well, and the Watcher's Academy Tea Set is good, as are the plastic Slayer stakes. Everyone is crazy about the Angel Investigations tee shirts--it must be the fear factor--"
"What is that, a lobster?"
"As drawn by Cordelia Chase!" Anya said. "And I've had to re-order the Angel puppets. Of course, the real franchise is the skin-care line from the magazine." She set aside the print-out and stared glumly into her Bellini.
Hallie put her hand over Anya's. "Oh, enough with the shop talk, honey. You look terrible. Tell me what he did."
"He had a son with Darla," Anya said, and burst into tears.
::
"Well," Darla said. "It is a woman's prerogative to take a little time for herself. I'm certain Anya will be back before you know it."
Angel just looked at her, desolate.
"Now, now." She patted his shoulder, her hand small against his bulk. "You'll see."
He lowered his head. The rest of the gang shifted uncomfortably, at loss for words.
"Well, we can't just wait around for her!" Cordy exclaimed. "We have to do something!"
"We are doing something," Darla said firmly, looking up from Angel's bent head. "We're finding Stephen. Now, tell me," she addressed Fred. "What is his present location?"
::
"We'll split up into three teams to contain the situation. Darla, you and Lindsey go in first. Try to get him talking. We'll monitor the situation from here and here," Wesley stabbed at the appropriate locations on the map. "If anything goes awry, our first priority is to protect bystanders, then ourselves, and finally to contain Stephen. We don't know how dangerous he is. Is everyone clear?"
The teams nodded.
"Let's go find ourselves a sulky teenager," Gunn said, leading the way out the door.
"Is there any other kind?" Xander wondered.
"Don't worry, Angel," Fred told him, lingering behind. "Cordy will keep you company since it's all sunshiny outside, and... and I'm sure Anya will be back soon. How could she stay away, I mean, you're so tall and brave and strong and protective and... well." She noticed Wesley eyeing her askance. "I mean, I'm sure she'll be right back! Bye!"
Cordelia said, brightly, "Cup of blood?"
:: "Actually," Anya said, mopping her face (and destroying her make-up), "We anticipate some A-listers here, along with the demon patients. Everyone's gonna be all bandaged up and staying in their rooms, anyway, so what's the big? And, total freedom from paparazzi or publicists or family members. Fred's worked out the specs; we've already got two portals that are completely safe. She wants us to open up a self-help group for victims of pan-dimensional abuse. It'll be a safe, non-threatening environment for humans who've been abused by demonic or magical transports, because, of course, no one believes them when they get back---so that meets the charitable deductions."
"See, Anya, you've always had this organizational skill. Who knew that you had such a gift for capitalism?" Hallie said. She patted her lip with the napkin. "Oh, sweet Bezel, these eggs are wonderful! How are you going to feed these A-listers? They just play with their food."
"I'm going to tell them that what calories they eat in another dimension, don't count." Both the current and former demon were in silent contemplation.
After a moment, Hallie spoke. "Well, for all we know, they don't."
"Hold on a sec," Anya said, pullling out her cell phone. "Wesley, Anya here. I'm leaving this message. And don't try tracking this call; you won't be able to. Tomorrow night, downtown---"
::
"Teenagers," Xander sighed. "Walking time-bombs of hormonal angst. And that's without all the traumatic seed-of-the-undead, portal-jumping, hell-dimension issues. Poor kid."
Lindsey nodded. "It's gonna be tough for him, being here on this world, not where he came from, not where he was going, everyone he expected here but not."
"Well, you know how they say it takes a village to raise a child?" Gunn's gaze never wavered from the alley where Darla was slowly approaching Stephen. "Looks like we're the village."
Xander winced. "Ye gods, is that kid doomed."
::
"I didn't mean protective of me personally, you know," Fred told Wesley. "More in the general sense, like protecting the world. Not that you aren't also--I mean, that's your job right? And, and Charles's. And mine. So, I could have just as easily said that I was tall and brave and strong and protective, even though technically I'm more of a--"
"Fred," Wesley interruped. "It's all right. You don't really think my ego is that fragile, do you?"
"Right. Sorry."
They watched Darla and Stephen in silence. The two seemed to be having an entirely weapons-free conversion; so far, so good.
Wesley looked over at Fred. "Well, do you?"
:: "Who are those hot girls on ice?" Hallie asked, pointing at the cooling rooms, in the former swimming pool.
Anya barely spared them a glance. "Oh, Oden Tal. Escaping from sexual mutilation and male domination, blah blah blah, remember those Danish misogynists we blasted into another dimension? Turns out that they survived and conquered. What can you do?" She flipped open her portfolio. "Oh, and what do you think of this, in every room? Star maps of all the local hot spots for magic activity---not inclusive of Sunnydale, of course. Caritas, Wolfram & Hart, all the Ano-Movic restaurants, as well as the local cemeteries." ::
"Well," Xander said, dazed.
"Uh huh," Gunn agreed.
"Sheesh," Fred added.
"Man," Lindsey put in. "Why didn't I see that coming?"
"It was certainly... unexpected," Wesley remarked. "Although in retrospect, I suppose it's not entirely inconceivable. After all, he has been through a tremendous amount of trauma. Perhaps, given the time to assimilate his new situation, he simply..." He trailed off, at a loss.
"He's just such a damned sulky kid!" Gunn said. "Plus he may be slim, but he's wiry, not to mention supernaturally strong. And he gives off that whole angry-at-the-world vibe."
"Although, again, that could just be the teenage factor," Xander remarked.
"Yeah, but still. Nobody expects to see the Destroyer crying, you know?"
:: "Listen, Anya, this is all extremely impressive, but, vengeance---aren't you feeling a hankering?" Hallie paused to sniff a spray of fresh flowers in the lobby. "I mean, look at him. Thick as, as, Irish sod."
They stared at Angel, seemingly frozen in mid-gesture, lifting a cup of blood. "Yeah, I know. Actually, it's not so much a dimensional shift as a phasic time-shift in reality. Fred worked out that it's cheaper. And, if any of the customers wander into this part of the hotel, the gang won't notice them."
Hallie ignored the scientific explanation. "Don't you itch to come back? Take out your burden? D'Hoffryn would make it very worth your while. Hey, we have dental benefits now!"
"I have dental benefits, " Anya said, staring at Angel. "I'm CEO of a corporation."
"But we have dental in three dimensions!"
"No," Anya said, sadly. "I don't want vengeance on him."
Hallie sighed. "You've got it bad, babe. Well, I'll leave the talisman, give me a chant. I may pop in for a little R & R, now and then." She kissed Anya affectionately, and blinked away.
Anya went around the counter, and, stepping delicately around Angel, pulled out one of the desk drawers. "Thought I left my Murano pen there," she said. "Damn." She straightened up, and after hesitating, lightly touched Angel's face, before she returned to the other wing of the hotel.
:: Angel almost spilled his blood. "What was that?" He inhaled. "I thought Anya---"
Cordelia said, "Big guy. What exactly happened? Did you fight? What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything," Angel said heatedly.
"Maybe that's it," Cordelia said.
Part 8
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