Unhealthy Attachments
or
Why Lindsey didn't get laid

Darla : "You're the only one that hasn't abandoned me." 
Lindsey : "And I never will."

For all we speculate about Lindsey's love life, the one canonical relationship he had is as twisted as anything we've brought up in fiction. Darla - vampire, human, resurrection and sacrifice - the girl changed our perspective on the Lawyer from Hell, revealed much we know about his character and also presented with me with a wonderful kiss I could see in slo-mo on DVD. And beg the question, 'why does no one else on this show kiss properly?'

So why is Darla so important to understanding Lindsey?

Initially, she's his project, his very special project and the first we see him dealing with post promotion. And it isn't a simple thing, this. In resurrecting Darla, he's lost not only a hand, but it's a very good example of what is in store for Lindsey when he tries to face Angel one on one. In 'To Shanshu in LA', Lindsey, having exhausted other methods of getting in Angel's face, is left with a choice - take on he vampire himself his way, or face the consequences of Angel ruining their plans with Wolfram and Hart. Naturally, he stands around and in a spectacular example of lack of smarts, (he should have had the Evil Overlord List book marked on his laptop) he commits a Blofeld trick and talks too bloody much. I'm not knocking his talking, but seriously, explaining to the good guy how you're going to screw him over never ends well. Burn scroll first, laugh evilly about it later.

So he's done much for the firm here - proved his loyalty and brought back the thing that's supposed to turn Angel to the dark side. Personally, I think he'd have been better keeping him drunk and...well...drunk does it for me. But they brought back Darla and even at the beginning of season two, she's clearly Lindsey's responsibility. We don't know she's human, just that she has a penchant for getting moody over classical music and wearing her sleeves too long. There's something of the little girl lost about Darla, a fact that works on all the men who're vulnerable to her charms. Both Angel and Lindsey try to save her, and the Master was known to have a soft spot for the vampire he called Dear One. So the scene is set - the newly vulnerable Darla is set up to corrupt Angel, and Lindsey's responsible for her welfare and enabling her 'vengeance' on the vampire who killed her.

Somewhere between Darla's first visit to Angel's bedroom and her last as lover, Lindsey changes his mind about what is and is not acceptable. He's involved with her, and as much as anyone loves the human Darla, it's not Angel who does so. Angel's concerned for the safety of her soul, something she only comes to understand after he's willing to sacrifice his life for hers in 'The Trial'. Lindsey's more practical - Darla is dying, becoming a vampire will keep her around, bring Drusilla to Darla. He binds her hands when she cuts them, he attempts to find a cure, and when he runs out of options, Lindsey tries to call Angel for help.

There's a good argument for his call to Angel being the defining point in his relationship with Darla. She's insulted him when he kissed her, called him on using her, (he is, although he doesn't entirely realize it) hit him with a phone, put him in trouble with the big wigs and what's Lindsey's response? Call Angel and give him as much information as he can to save her. Admittedly Angel is strangling him at the time, but it's clear that Lindsey believes the anger is real, and that his affection for Darla has not gone unnoticed.

It's interesting to look at when Lindsey is most attracted to Darla, because it's not entirely when you expect. Yes, he seems attracted to her vulnerability, (for God's sake, the boy won't kiss her until she asks him why not, and his answer is that he wasn't sure she wanted him to) but he seems bent on need. She has to need him in order for Lindsey to want her. Look at his desire in 'Reunion' - he's actually standing there looking at a dead Darla and while there's love there, the man is getting a hard on for a stiff. I mean, yeesh! Later the same episode, he's the only one smiling when Angel closes the door and locks the lawyers in to certain death. Is it because he believes she'll save him? No, he's not scared, and while there's a good deal of vengeance on Holland Manners there for his manipulation of Lindsey's emotions, it seems clear that Lindsey's not expecting to be turned, or saved. He almost seems to welcome death.

Consider this exchange in comparison with the one in his office in 'Darla'. In the office, she asks who she is, what she is, and when he can't give her an answer, is uninterested in an answer, or in anything that is not screwing the girl on his desk, she bites him.

Darla : "What am I?" 
Lindsey : "I don't know what you are - and I don't care." 
(she bites him) 
Darla : "Now do you care?" 
Lindsey : "No."

In 'Reunion', she smells him, feels that lack of fear in a room full of it, and asks him again.

Darla : "You could die here. Chances are you will." 
Lindsey "Yes." 
Darla : "And you don't care?" 
Lindsey : "I care...I guess I just don't mind."

One assumes if he'd given her the same answer in the office, Darla's panties would be history.

*

To Darla, Lindsey is never a savior - that's Angel's role. He is however, puppy to be used and shown the paper as and when, a job he undertakes to his eventual distaste at Wolfram and Hart as well. She shows him respect only in the beginning, when he suggests that her offhand comment about injuring Angel might not be in his firm's plans, but it's okay by him. He is 'fun for a human' when she believes he's truly evil. He sings her praises for the mayhem and torture she and Angelus caused throughout their time and she preens in 'Dear Boy'. But re-watch that exchange.

Darla : "He's falling apart." 
Lindsey : "That's wonderful. Unhinging a man with all his particular strengths and weaknesses takes a lot of work. 
Darla : "Oh I wouldn't call it work" 
Lindsey : "Whatever you'd call it, I'm glad you're here. You've given us a lot of valuable information… the way you two tore it up for a hundred and fifty years… the way he planned his tortures down to the smallest detail…" 
(Lindsey absently touches his prosthetic hand with his normal one.) 
Darla : "He did that to you." 
(Lindsey nods) 
Darla : "What's it feel like?" 
Lindsey : "Doesn't feel like anything." 
Darla : "Can I?" 
(she strokes his hand) 
Darla : "It's very...smooth. You don't feel anything." 
Lindsey : "Not in my hand."

Now they're talking about Angel, but couldn't she be as easily talking about Lindsey himself - she brings him down much more successfully than she does Angel, and the reason isn't his capacity for evil, but his more human side. His weaknesses are not power, because he has none in Wolfram and Hart, not until the episode he leaves - he exchanges power for a title and a six-figure salary. And Darla knows this. Which is why the balance in their relationship always swings in her favor. She's in control, whether it's as a human, (and admittedly her refusal of his offer of help is down to practicality - Lindsey doesn't know what it's like to suddenly own a soul) or a vampire lying about her physical condition, the boy is whipped when it comes to a fragile blonde.

So where does this leave him? How does it contribute to Lindsey's journey out of Wolfram and Hart? Quite simply, it's this lack of evil that we've seen before in Lindsey. He never actually commits an evil act himself, and any time he does, he's punished, ('Let me wipe away my tears with my plastic hand,' anyone?). He hired an assassin to kill Angel, he didn't act directly and yes, we know he's worked well as legal council, (the only reason he seems to be so successful within Wolfram and Hart at all) and made sure that certain undesirables have been set free. But at no point has he attempted to do wrong himself. He's always a second party to it, be it hiring a thug, (see Boone in 'Blood Money') catering to a vampire's whims, (organizing for Cordelia to be an appetizer in 'In the City of') or arranging for someone to be turned. Remember, he states afterward that bringing in Drusilla was the firm's idea, not his own.

The problem he has, and what stifles his relationship with Darla is that he has certain moral tendencies he'd find it much easier without. He won't let the children die in 'Blind Date', and he risks a great deal to do so. There's a good argument there that if Angel had made the effort, Lindsey could have been a useful ally instead of a pain in the neck, a fact that Angel apologizes for later in 'Epiphany', (admittedly while he's pounding ten times out of shit out of him, but, eh). He won't accept the firm's decision about Darla, and their using of her - which may be why he's so damn cheery when her massacre takes down his superior and several colleagues. His decision to go along with their introduction of Drusilla seems to be because he believes it will save her - but while he plays lap dog to both firm and Darla for so long, it's when he realizes that she's playing him that the hold they have on him loosens at last.

After the massacre in the wine cellar, Lindsey's less nervous than Lilah, partly because he knows he could and should have died down there and was 'saved' by Darla. But also because he didn't seem worried over whether or not he would die there in the first place. Losing his hand has apparently taken away the extra parts of his life he used to balance out his involvement in Wolfram and Hart. He can no longer play his guitar, he can't even tie his own ties any more. Which is why we can accept he puts all his spare time into Darla - he paid the price and she's his reward. When she makes fun of him in his own office in front of Dru and Lilah, he takes it on the chin. He's hurt, but his immediate reaction isn't to sulk. He plays lawyer - tells her she's put him in a difficult place professionally, and asks about Angel. And for once, it's Darla on the ropes -

Lindsey : "And this power you want, does it have a target? Are you going after Ang-" 
Darla : "Don't. Say it. Not everything is about Angel, Lindsey. I just wanna have some fun." 
Lindsey : "I'm surprised. I would've thought he was your top priority." 
Darla : "I spent two hundred and fifty years without Angel. You think just because I went through a little "human" phase, I'd go all gooey?" 
Lindsey : "No. I thought you'd kill him."
(Darla smiles)
Darla : "All in good time, my love. All in good time."

It seems that her promise to take Angel down, that he isn't as important to her as he is, (be it only as liaison with Wolfram and Hart and their money) gives Lindsey a certain reassurance. His attitude from then on out is hardly deferential to the firm. He seems almost blasé at the news that they could well kill him. Very little seems to touch him professionally after the news in Blood Money that the firm would be happy to see him die at Angel's hands if it brought the vampire over to the gray area. Of course, by 'Reprise', we discover that part of that calm is at least due to Darla 'relying' on him.

Since her immolation at Angel's hands, Darla has been living with Lindsey, albeit in a lie. She's chosen to act as invalid and he's bought it, rescuing her from a tunnel and tending to her wounds, bringing her fresh human blood and though he hasn't apparently offered his own neck, (and yes, there's a fic in there at her suggestion that keeping blood cold isn't the only way to keep it fresh) and giving her pep talks. Of course, Darla's fine, she's using him again, this time to get an inside on Angel's activities and other fun events at the firm, and also because...well, the girl does like being admired and Lindsey's apartment affords her a hell of a view.

He thinks he's saved her, is valuable to her now as a man, and promises never to leave her, although it seems he hasn't pressed the point - Darla's clothes remain outside his bedroom and she's been sleeping on the couch. It doesn't appear that she's shared his bed, although it's certainly on his mind. His suggestion that to hide she ought to move her stuff into his room hardly seems to be a noble gesture, when moving her into her own apartment would be safer. Even when he realizes her betrayal, that she's been using him and that she's well, Lindsey doesn't turn on her. He refers to the two of them as an 'us' - 'things will be difficult for us', 'I think it would be best for us' - and his plans, however difficult with the firm, are dependent on the two of them remaining together. The lawyer who refused to be the one on the losing side, who was prepared to sacrifice everything for financial security is now willing to risk it all for a woman who doesn't love him.

Until he discovers that she's slept with Angel.

Darla : "You want details, Lindsey? Is that what you want?"
Lindsey : "Yes. I want the details. I need to know everything. All of it. What did he do to you?"

Again the implication is that Angel was the one acting, and that Darla was placid, a much a victim as Lindsey's wanted to see her. But he knows that's not true as much as we do. Joe Schmuck here is about to discover that his girl is neither his, nor much of a girl, and that's the last thing we ever hear them tell each other. Next time we see them, they're not talking, and Lindsey actually takes the initiative on getting his own revenge. He's disgusted with what she's done, and actively feels like a wronged man, something that's evident with the glare he gives her and the beating he gives Angel. A beating he pays for, (but of course, Lindsey is never allowed to act for himself, remember?) but when he returns to his apartment, beaten, humiliated, she's gone.

Lindsey seems much better for her absence.

And since we like patterns and circles, it seems to come back to this bizarre threesome - when she arrived, Angel took his hand, when she left, he took it again. But this time, he reminds him it could have been so much worse. And if there's hope for a reluctant vampire, there's certainly something out there for an even more reluctant lawyer.

In conclusion, Lindsey's attraction to Darla is because of the illusion she gives him of control. He believes she's vulnerable, ergo, he will protect her. He believes she's dying, he will resurrect her, and when she finally repays all with her dalliance with Angel - a night she really should have skipped out on and finds her own power diminished - Lindsey acts on his own behalf for the first time. This is not for the firm, not for his moral well being, this is the first time he takes action for his own benefit. So he didn't get laid, but her presence severed his dependence on Wolfram and Hart.

And we got one hell of a kiss to remember them by.

Darla : "God, I could eat his eyeballs." 
Lindsey : "Our plans for Angel are a little more long range than that - but if you just can't help yourself, be my guest - and remember to take pictures." 
Darla : "You're fun for a human." 
Lindsey : "I like my work."