Keeping the Oven Empty

'I'm just not sure that breaking into Miss Chase's apartment is at all a good thing to do.'

Angel looked up at Wesley and the ex-Watcher saw the angry concern in his face. He stepped back a little.

Spike snorted.

'Miss Chase? Bloody Hell Wesley, you've probably had her in every position in your head and you still call her Miss.

'Not helping, Spike,' said Angel, turning the handle and breaking the lock. 'Cordelia?'

'Angel's right man,' said Doyle, 'We've called her twice and she's still not answering. Even Cordy wouldn't come into work this late.'

Spike looked at the half-demon and raised an eyebrow.

'Wasn't it last night that you two Casanova wannabes fucked up on the great Miss Gobby mystery?'

Angel stepped inside and started looking about. He turned round to Doyle and gestured towards Spike. Doyle stared puzzled and then clicked.

'Come on in, Spike.'

The vampire walked in and sniffed as Dennis' presence floated past.

'Bloody Ghosts get everywhere don't they?'

Wesley turned back to Spike, realizing something.

'You just called her Miss!'

Spike grinned.

'Yeah? Well I haven't thought about bumping uglies with that...'

'Angel?' came the quivering voice.

They opened the bedroom door.

'Oh my...' began Wesley.

Doyle moved forward and sat on the bed, taking Cordelia's hand and stroking it gently.

'Bugger me, Pet. you've done some damage there!'

Angel walked up to the bed and pulled a chair round, looking at the heavily pregnant girl.

'Cordelia, we're here.'

She wouldn't look at him.

'Do you want to tell me what happened?'

Spike snorted and Wesley pulled him backwards out of the room, seemingly suddenly more aggressive than he had ever been around the vampire.

'Hey!'

'You sir, are trying my patience.'

Spike pulled back, amused by the demon hunter's concern.

'You really do care about her don't you, ducks?'

Wesley pushed his glasses up on his nose and shot Spike an empiric gaze.

'And what if I do? I'd rather have some compassion for that poor girl in there than laugh about her unfortunate situation.'

Spike frowned a second.

'Hit the nail on the head there, mate. That's no human baby she's lumping about.'

'Indeed,' said Wesley, 'And she's going to need all our support whilst we try and decided what's to be done.'

Spike smirked at him.

'You're not telling me that I have to turn on the sugar now are you?'

Wesley sighed and shook his head.

'No, I suppose that's not going to happen. But at least you could keep quiet instead of upsetting her further.'

Spike looked at Wesley's determined face and winked.

'I'll be a good little demon, then, ducks.'

Wesley paused, then stretched to his full height, which was several inches taller than Spike's.

'Good, see that you do. Or I'll be forced to...to...'

'Kick my arse? Asked Spike with a suggestive grin.

'Something like that,' Wesley wearily accepted.

Angel walked out of the room, a familiar disgruntled expression across his face.

'Can't get hold of the father.'

'No? You do surprise me,' said Spike. 'He's well out of the picture by now. His work's done!'

Angel looked at his lover wearily, but Spike didn't show signs of being all that eager to tease Cordelia to death, so he made ignored it.

'He might come back for the baby.'

'Which could be at any time now,' pointed out Wesley. 'If she's that pregnant in one night...'

'Yuchhh!' said Spike, 'Don't fancy cleaning up demon placenta.'

'I don't know what to do yet, we have to know what it is exactly first.'

He looked at Wesley.

'You and I are going to try and get some answers about where this Wilson and his friends are.'

'What about me?' asked Spike, 'Don't I get to beat up Daddy?'

Angel shook his head.

'We don't know that it's definitely demon yet, and if it's not, then you're just in for a hell of a headache.'

Wesley laughed and then stopped at Spike's cold glare. Angel looked back into the room and saw Cordelia resting her head on Doyle's shoulder, her swollen belly visible even under the bed covers.

He turned to the others.

'Spike, you and Doyle get her to the doctors and get them to do a pre natal exam. We have to know what we're up against.'

'And if it's a big hairy arsed demon I can come and kick it, right?'

'Right,' agreed Angel with a small grin. He thought about Cordelia again and frowned. 'We have to be quick though.'

'Yeah,' agreed Spike, 'Don't much fancy dealing with demon toddler tantrums in a couple of years.'
 

*
 

Angel and Wesley walked into the bar, both wondering why Cordelia had been there. From what Angel knew of her party likes, she wasn't exactly one for hanging out in quiet places. And this was definitely one of those. Maybe it got livelier at night.

The barman was cleaning glasses and looking very bored. Angel reached into his pocket for his wallet and wondered if he was making a big mistake. This guy probably dealt with guys who thought they could buy anything they wanted all day and night. Maybe it would take a gentler approach.

'Wesley?'

'Hmmm?' asked Wesley.

'Why don't you ask the bartender. I have a feeling I come off as intimidating and you might get more out of him.'

'What? Oh, right,' said Wesley, pleased. 'I shall start my inquiry now.'

Angel hung back as Wesley braced himself, thrusting his shoulders backwards and marching forwards as though he was in a parade. Angel winced, thinking perhaps that it might take a gentler approach than that.

The bartender looked at the ex-Watcher, mentally cataloging him as 'in desperate need of a drink and a good woman' and cast his tired smile on the man.

'Good afternoon,' said Wesley brightly, 'I was looking for someone and I wondered if you could help me.'

Make that several drinks and maybe a good man instead.

'What kind of someone?'

Wesley looked around and leaned over the bar conspirationally.

'My friend was here last night with a man, and I need to find him.'

The barman raised a tired eyebrow.

'I don't get involved, okay, I just serve the drinks.'

Wesley looked surprised.

'Oh no, I'm not her boyfriend, it's just, well, he...he left her in rather a bad state and I'd like to have a word.'

'Who is he then?'

'Well,' said Wesley, 'I believe his name is Wilson and he left here last night with Cordelia. She's very beautiful, with raven tresses and a very warm smile.'

The bartender looked at him.

'Sure you're not the boyfriend?'

Wesley looked abashed and the tender nodded slowly.

'Okay, so Wilson Christopher, yeah, I know him, but I don't know where he is.'

Wesley sagged.

'Well do you know who he's friends with, where they like to go...'

'Pretty much wherever Serena tells them.'

'Serena?'

'Yeah, you know her?'

Wesley inclined his head.

'Well, sort of. You were saying?'

The bartender nodded.

'They travel in packs. The guys have the money; the girls have the pretty. The girls decide what club's the flavor of the month and Serena rules the girls.'

Wesley smiled.

'Thank you. I'll just...er, go and ask Serena if she knows where he is.'

The bartender gave him a bog standard bar smile and started cleaning his glasses again.

'Sure you're not her boyfriend?'

'Er, no,' said Wesley, shaking his head. He gestured to Angel and the dark vampire came over with a congratulatory smile.

'I see,' grinned the tender, 'takes all types I guess.'

Wesley looked at Angel and then back at the bar.

'What? Oh no, oh, you've got quite the wrong end of the stick there, I can assure...'

'Come on Wesley,' said Angel and dragged the demon hunter out.
 

*
 

Cordelia sat in the corner of the waiting room, her eyes fixed on her stomach, still unable to take that it was a part of her. Spike sat next to her, looking more like a thug than ever in the stark whites of the hospital. He wasn't exactly happy that he'd lost his duster, but the fire, vodka and foam had rendered it completely unwearable. Which sucked.

And now here he was with an irrational pregnant woman in the middle of a hospital. With Doyle playing Daddy and faking names up to get her examined. It was bothering him slightly that he didn't like to see Cordelia crying. He kept telling himself it was because tears were noisy and unpleasant, but he found himself fighting this weird urge to hug her.

Spike didn't hug humans.

He didn't do hugging full stop, at least, he hadn't.

Being with Angel had changed him and he'd already noticed how he was thinking of the others as people, and worried about that. Now it seemed that he was actually considering their feelings and that couldn't be right. He looked about in the room and was relieved to find that aside from Cordelia and Doyle, everyone else just seemed like lunch. So that was a little better, but he really didn't like the idea that he was coming to care about more than just Angel.

Maybe they were putting something in the blood?

Doyle came back over.

'They said you could go through in a minute, Princess.'

Cordelia nodded and accepted Doyle's hand as he sat next to her. Being pregnant seemed to have shocked most of her dialogue away and she was uncannily silent as Doyle stroked her hand. The woman next to them tried to talk to her and Cordelia freaked before the stunned female turned away. Minutes seemed to drag and Doyle excused himself to go to the bathroom.

'Ms Murphy?'

Spike nudged Cordelia and she looked up at the receptionist.

'Doctor will see you now.'

She struggled to get her feet and Spike sighed, then got up and pulled her upright. She smiled a worried thanks and moved toward the door, waddling as she tried to cope with her new figure. She paused before she went in and turned back to Spike.

'I don't want to go in there alone.'

Spike raised an eyebrow.

'Doyle'll be back in a moment.'

Cordelia blinked away a tear.

'Please, Spike?'

Spike huffed and then gestured for her to go through. The receptionist cast him a disgusted glance and he stuck his tongue out at her before closing the door behind them.

The doctor was short and balding, with a weak pulse and a completely unappealing neck. Spike imagined he'd die in a few years and amused himself by imagining his death, all tortured and painful. The nurse was more his type of meal and she looked at him strangely as he shot her a seductive grin. She would make one hell of an entrée and she blushed under his gaze before remembering that he was in there to support his 'wife'. She turned away and busied herself preparing the ultrasound.

Still, she couldn't help smiling. He was a sexy man after all.

'So, Ms Murphy. You're what, eight and half months along?'

Cordelia glared at him, but he carried on feeling her stomach, oblivious.

'You left a lot of blanks on the patient information form. It would help to have the name of your previous doctor.'

'You're the only doctor we've been to...'

'...In California,' finished Spike, 'we've just moved here from England.'

He turned to look at Cordelia, who stared at him incredulously.

'Isn't that right, Pet?'

She nodded slowly, a threatening look on her face.

'Lovely country,' said the doctor. 'So, how are you feeling?'

'I'm as big as a house, everything hurts, I...'

'That's all normal at this stage. And once your little one comes out, which will probably be in no time, you'll feel a lot better.'

'Will it stop the bad moods too Doc?' asked Spike, 'Cause she's not been herself ever since William junior was conceived.'

'William junior?' asked Cordelia.

The doctor laughed easily.

'Every couple argues over names. It's usually the most difficult part.'

'Not in this case,' murmured Spike and ignored the look Cordelia shot at him.

'Well then, Ms Murphy, if you'd just like to lie back, we'll see what's baking in the oven, okay?'

Cordelia reached out her fingers and Spike took them, before they both stared at their hands, then each other and sprung apart, disgusted. The doctor stared at them a moment before looking at the monitor and moving the scanner over Cordelia's belly.

'Hmm, looks like somebody's expecting twins.'

'Twins?' exclaimed Cordelia and Spike in unison. She reached out her hand again and Spike took it this time, his eyes focussed on the doctor's face. It was growing more worried with each pass of the scanner.

'No, I can see another heartbeat...and another...'

'There's one, there,' pointed out the nurse.

'And a sixth,' said the Doctor breathlessly.

He looked up at the very nervous Cordelia and back at the monitor.

'Oh my God...'

'What? What is it?' asked Cordelia.

'I'm sure it's nothing,' said the Doctor shaking his head.

Spike let go of Cordy's hand and prodded the man in the white coat.

'Look mate, you don't go saying that and leaving her in the lurch. She asked you what was wrong.'

The doctor took in Spike's aggressive stance and looked back at the monitor again. Spike gave off threatening vibes even in human form and some primal urge told him that he'd better come up with some answers quickly.

'I - I'd like to withdraw - a little of the amniotic fluid just, just to make sure that everything is, ah...shipshape.'

He turned to the nurse.

'If you could just prep Ms Murphy?'
 

*
 

Serena wasn't quite what either of them had been expecting.

For one thing she was exceedingly drunk and she was also as pregnant as Cordelia. It transpired that she had suspected something was wrong but, unable to put her finger on it, and enjoying the wealth of their lifestyle, she had ignored her misgivings.

LA could do that to a person.

Although she couldn't reach any of the guys in question, a group of whom she'd known little about, Serena did manage to give them a hint. Apparently all the guys were interested in guns and hung out together in some private gun club. Angel reassured her that they'd get whomever it was that was doing this and they headed back to Angel's apartment.

As they entered they could hear Cordelia crying and Wesley was past him before Angel could react. He followed him into the bedroom and was amazed to see Spike hurrying down the stairs with Cordelia wrapped in his arms. He lay her down in the bed before noticing that Angel and Wesley were there. Doyle brought in a cup of coffee and sat next to her on the bed, stroking hair off her face as he nodded to the others.

'Hey,' said Angel softly, 'I think we've worked out where Wilson and his cronies might be.'

Cordelia sobbed and buried her head into Spike's chest to almost everyone's surprise. Angel raised his eyebrows to Spike and his lover shrugged back, before scowling at the smile which emerged on the older vampire's face.

'So where is it then?' asked Doyle, 'Cause that man needs his face rearranging in a big way.'

'It's a gun club,' answered Wesley, 'I'm afraid that all the men you've been seeing are involved.'

'What?' asked Cordelia from the vampire's chest, 'What does that mean?'

She turned so she could see Wesley and saw the worried look on his face.

'Why won't anyone tell me anything?'

'It's okay, Princess,' said Doyle, 'Angel and I will sort this out.'

Angel nodded and picked up the Yellow Pages.

'Serena's in the same position as you, Cordelia, and there's at least two others we know of. Maybe more. You just sit tight here whilst Wesley has a look for something that could do this, and Doyle and I will go have a word.'

'Oh,' said Spike, 'So Irish here gets to go beating folk up and Spike has to stay home and baby-sit?'

Cordelia let out a scream and bent double in the bed. Spike got up as Wesley and Doyle tried to comfort her and walked over to Angel.

'Come on, Peaches, you can't tell me that we're not dealing with some kind of demon now?'

Angel shook his head.

'We still don't know. And if it's something else...I don't want you getting hurt.'

Spike snorted and glared at his lover.

'I don't need your permission to go beat people up. I can just walk out of here myself.'

Angel smiled and ran his hand up his cheek.

'I know that, and I promise, if it turns out to be demonic, I'll hold off until I can get you there, okay?'

Cordelia screamed again and they turned back, watching as she held on tightly to her belly. Wesley and Doyle tried to calm her down, but her eyes sought out Spike. He groaned and walked back over to her, sitting down as she grasped his shirt and buried her head into his chest once more.

Angel looked at him.

'You okay?'

Spike rolled his eyes.

'Yeah, I'm fine, go find these gits...give them a big ass kicking from me.'

He passed Wesley the ultra sound scan and sat back on the bed as Cordelia braced herself against him. The demon hunter looked disbelievingly at the tableau and then headed upstairs to his books. Doyle kissed Cordelia on the head and headed out to Angel's car.

'You sure you're okay?' asked Angel.

Spike waved his hands.

'Go on, I'll baby-sit, till Weasly works out what's going on.'

Angel smiled and left the room.

'They're talking to me.'

Spike looked at the dark hair against his chest.

'What? The babies?'

She looked up at him.

'They're talking to me, but I don't know what they're saying.'

Spike nodded.

'Demons can be like that - unhelpful at the whole conversation lark.'

She sat up, her eyes wild and staring.

'Doyle...Wesley, they were afraid, afraid of what's inside me.'

'Well it's not exactly a happy event is it, Love?'

She looked at her belly.

'You don't know what it's like...to be a partner in creation...'

Spike looked at her. She wasn't exactly acting like the woman he knew, and with what he'd seen inside her body, he didn't fancy her chances of survival much. The Cordelia he knew wasn't afraid of anything, and this version was clinging...to him. And wasn't that whacked?

She was staring and he recognized the smell of fear, before coming to a decision.

He sighed.

'Yeah, I do know what it's like.'

'What?'

She looked at him and saw the vampire was deadly ha, ha serious.

He shook his head.

'I know what it's like to make a kid.

She squinted at him.

'What? That whole vampire siring thing?'

Spike shook his head.

'Nah, this was back when I was human.'

'Tell me?'

Spike looked at her and saw the wild uncertainty in her eyes before lifting the cover and wrapping her up. Cordelia leaned back against the pillows, but concentrated on Spike. He tilted his head to the side and thought back to that time. It seemed like a world away, and he snorted to himself as he realised it was.

'I was only a kid, but some things never change. Tell them they can't have sex and the little buggers'll be shagging away like rabbits soon as you turn your back.'

'Yeah, nothing changes.'

Spike smirked.

'Some things do. Back then if you knocked a girl up, you either had to marry the silly cow or face her family.'

'Sensitive, weren't you?'

He laughed.

'You could say that. Only form of birth control we had was cross your fingers or cross your legs.'

'Sounds like fun...not.'

'Oh I dunno, I always had a laugh.'

He grinned at her and she squirmed as something moved within her belly.

'You were saying, about this girl?'

'Yeah, well she was my mate's sister. Pretty girl, long brown hair, curvy ass, big tits.'

'Okay, enough with the description please?'

Spike smiled at the memory.

'Anyway I was young and horny, so I talked her into bed and she turned out to be as near to innocent as I was. Right sexy little thing, but her family thought she was the virgin Mary.'

'Oh I know THAT role.'

He looked at her and she shrugged.

'So she turns up at my gaff after this job I was doing and says she's late. Could've knocked me down with a feather. I thought she was sorting out that side of things.'

Cordelia laughed dryly.

'Believe me, that attitude hasn't changed.'

'Yeah, human nature is a bugger to cope with. Anyway, I wasn't exactly ready for marriage, but she said she didn't want that, she'd give the baby to her Auntie, cause she couldn't have one.'

'Convenient.'

Spike shrugged.

'Used to happen a lot back then - kids being raised by Aunties and Sisters and folks. No one paid much mind to it.'

'So what happened?'

Spike sighed again and leaned back against the pillow next to her.

'Kiddy was born, went to the Auntie's house and I never got to see her. Her brother and I went on being mates, but I never hooked up with her again. Never gave much thought to it after that.'

'So there could be someone out there related to you?'

Spike shrugged again.

'Demons usually feed off their families. It's the first thing they want to do, Pet.'

She looked at him.

'You didn't though, did you?'

He laughed.

'You're brighter than you look, aren't you?'

'Umm, Spike? May I have a word?'

They turned to see Wesley with a pale face and a leather tome.

'You've worked out what it is?'

He nodded and tried to gesture for Spike to come out of the room. He remained sitting on the bed and glared at the demon hunter.

'I think she can cope with the truth, ducks.'

Wesley looked at Cordelia and his shoulders sagged.

'Very well then.'

He walked over to the bed and laid out the open pages.

'I ask that you not overreact. Keep in mind that oft times these 16th Century engravers tended to exaggerate.'

Cordelia looked at Spike. He nodded. Wesley sighed in relief and continued.

'I...I know it seems dire, but now that we've identified the species, there is every chance that we will be able to stop what's happening to you.'

She picked up the book and looked at it carefully. The she stood up and closed it.

'That's right, we mustn't lose hope.'

Cordelia turned and Spike saw the look on her face.

'Wesley, I don't think she's upset...'

'What?'

Cordelia swung the book and knocked him out. He slumped forward over the bed. Spike got to his feet and moved away.

'Now Pet, there's no need to hit me with that, it's not like I can do anything.'

She kept towards him and he backed up, cursing the chip in his head as he edged toward the bathroom door.

'Look, just go, I won't stop you, I just don't fancy being bashed with that.'

'You're not going to hurt my babies.'

'Fine, Pet. Go have your demon spawn.'

An idea occurred to him. Would it count if he was trying to hurt the demons inside her?

He swung out at her belly and before he could connect, the chip triggered and sent him sprawling to the floor as agony swept his brain. He growled at his mistake.

'No one is going to hurt my babies.'
 

*
 

Doyle chased towards the phone box.

'I feel better.'

Angel walked behind him, pulling bullets from his chest.

'I hate when they shoot me.'

Doyle opened the door and began to dial.

'Yeah man, but we kicked some serious ass in there. I don't think they're going to go around impregnating any other girls with demon spawn anytime soon.'

Angel raised an eyebrow.

Doyle laughed, embarrassed.

'Right, we kill the big bad guy and no more babies full stop. Wesley?' he said into the phone.

Wesley groaned.

'She hit me!'

'Cordelia?'

'Yes.'

There was a groan in the background and Angel recognized it as Spike.

'Is he okay?'

Doyle rolled his eyes.

'Are you both okay?'

Wesley put his glasses back on.

'Yes, I think so, but Cordelia's gone. She became insanely protective when I identified the Hacksaw as the father of her...her, ah...I fear she may have gone off to rendezvous with it.'

Doyle groaned.

'She has. Miliken Industrial Park in Reseda.'

'What?'

'That's where they built their shrine.'

'Oh,' Wesley looked at the book and saw Spike getting ready to leave. 'How does she know though?'

'She's telepathically linked to its unborn. That's how it's controlling Cordelia.'

'Ah, a psychic umbilical cord, hmmm, that's what's sustaining these pregnancies.'

'You mean we kill the demon and no more babies?' growled Spike.

Wesley nodded.

'Right then, tell that poof there that I'll be along shortly. I've got some payback wants delivering.'
 

*
 

Angel climbed down the steps with one hand on the barrel.

It had been a struggle to find liquid nitrogen this late at night, but Doyle had a sweet tongue and there was one service girl who was a whole lot happier now.

Spike jumped down after him and Angel winced as the barrel clanged on the floor.

'Surprise entrances just aren't your style are they?'

Spike grinned at him.

'Look, Love, there's a demon in there who's just aching for yours truly to kick the shit out of it. You're lucky that I've agreed to this ass kicking - free version of it.'

Angel smiled.

'If I didn't know better, I'd say you were doing this because you felt sorry for Cordelia.'

Spike snorted.

'But you know better, right Peaches.'

'Well, I thought I did. But that was before I saw Cordelia snuggling up to you like you were best buddies.'

Spike snorted.

'Look, it's simple. Weasly and Irish gave off big fear signals that that Demon Mum to be could pick up on. I didn't.'

'Cause you're that hard?'

Spike wiggled his eyebrows.

'For you, Peaches, always.'

Angel laughed.

'You'd better keep that promise tonight. Right now we have a baby shower to bust up.'

Spike grinned.

'Gatecrashing?'

'Is there any other way?'

Angel smirked.

'Well occasionally you could try getting invited somewhere, but I think you like being illegal.'

'True.'

Angel pushed the barrel to the beginning of the ramp and prepared to let it roll.

'Showtime?'

Spike grinned.

'Go on and have your fun, just remember that there's a vampire back here with the hardest cock you've laid your hands on.'

Angel chuckled and leaned over to kiss him.

'Plan to do a lot more than just lay my hands.'

'Gah, go on, you'll make me blush, Love.'

Angel grinned.

'You Will? Never!'
 

*
 

'I put chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in the ice box,' said Doyle.

'I've got her favorite magazines,' said Angel, plopping them on her desk.

'I've just tidied that,' groaned Wesley, moving them into order.

Spike chuckled as the three men hurried around, excited because Cordelia was coming back into the office.

'You lot look such twats!'

Angel stared at him amiably.

'And this coming from the person who insisted on choosing which magazines I bought.'

Spike stuck his tongue in his cheek.

'Yeah, well, I don't think she would have liked Twinkle, or that other kid's one you picked up.'

Doyle grinned.

'What?'

'Nothing, Spike. Just occurs that you're looking forward to her coming back as much as any of us.'

Spike snorted.

'Right, cause little Miss Gossipbox and I are such good mates.'

'Well she did turn to you when she was in trouble,' pointed out Wesley.

'Yeah, and it was your shoulder she cried on,' smirked Angel with relish.

'So! That was cause I was the only one of you that didn't wuss out!'

'Yeah, Spike,' said Angel, 'whatever you say.'

The door opened.

'Hello Cordelia,' said Wesley, 'I must say, you're looking quite lovely.'

'Radiant,' murmured Spike with a grin.

Angel grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.

'Be nice,' he whispered.

'I'm always nice,' came the reply, 'I just have my own view on nice, Pet.'

'And what's that then?'

Spike ran his finger along Angel's thigh.

'If you let me have some of that ice cream, I'll show you later.'

Angel chuckled, then heard Cordelia say 'all I have to do is let him impregnate me with his demon master's seed, and I've got the part.'

They looked at her.

'Guys, I appreciate all the concern, but I'm okay. I mean, it was an ordeal, but I got through it, - and I'm a lot stronger than those loser demon surrogates thought.'

Spike grinned.

'I knew that, but these nonces wouldn't be stopped from pampering you.'

She grinned at him.

'I learned something, too. I learned; umm...men are evil? Oh, wait...I knew that. I learned that LA is full of self-serving phonies. No, had that one down, too. Uh... sex is bad?

Spike grinned and felt Angel's hand against his ass.

'Wouldn't say that exactly,' murmured Angel.

'Oh, I don't know,' grinned Spike, 'I'd say we could be pretty bad.'

Cordelia looked at them all.

'Okay. I learned that I have four people I trust absolutely with my life... And that part's new.'

Wesley sighed and turned away.

'Allergies.'

Doyle chuckled and Spike frowned.

'Did she say four people?'

'Yes Spike.'

He growled.

'If I wasn't...with the chip and everything, I'd kill you in a second.'

'Yes Spike.'

'She knows that, right, Peaches?'

'With a Caesar salad wasn't it?' asked Cordelia.

'Right,' said Spike. 'Still the Big Bad, remember.'

Angel bit down lightly on his ear.

'Still big...' he chuckled, 'And very Bad.'
 

*
 

'You're just crap at this kind of thing aren't you?'

Angel picked up the sweeping brush and started to clean up the coffee beans. Mush the packet, she'd said. Use your vampire strength she'd said. Makes sure you don't squoosh them all over the floor, she hadn't mentioned and Angel swore that next time, he'd make sure they ordered filter coffee.

All he'd wanted was to make a cup of coffee for him and Spike and relax in bed with the paper. Just an ordinary morning like anyone else. It wasn't too much to ask, was it? Just so that he could have Spike next to him, reading his - he looked up at the blond vampire and observed that Spike was reading, huh, Edgar Allen Poe - and just spend a few pleasant hours without the world to worry about. Not too much, was it?

'You've missed one.'

Angel growled quietly and picked up the remaining beans. He put them in the bin and had a quick look inside the filter; to discover that there were actually a few grains left. It might be enough.

'Come to bed, Peaches, you'll get cold!'

Angel stood up and walked, boxer clad, over to the bed. Spike had thrown back the covers and had gone back to reading. Angel looked at the crease that formed on Spike's forehead when he was concentrating and smiled. It was strange to see the vampire looking cute, but Angel was growing increasingly used to Spike's little habits. He climbed onto the mattress and pulled the cover up, pleasantly aware that Spike automatically reached out his leg to touch Angel's own.

He picked up the paper and then looked at them both. Something about this picture was weird. They were all comfy and cozy. They could have been Bert and Ernie for how sexy they looked right now and Angel's vanity wasn't quite ready to deal with that yet. Maybe it was the thought of the party that was getting him all grumpy. Cordelia had asked for the day off and requisitioned Doyle and Wesley to help her get organized.

Spike had asked that she provide vodka, jelly and ice cream and cheese puffs, (she'd asked him just how old he was at the second requests) and seemed to be looking forward to the event. He'd grinned wickedly when she'd asked him not to threaten any of her friends and said he'd be his usual charming self. The eyebrow Cordelia had raised was lost as Spike slapped Wesley on the ass in his excitement. The watcher had jumped and then flinched as Spike winked lasciviously at him.

Angel had watched all of this in silence. He'd been noticing a change in Spike's attitude to the others over the past couple of weeks, but this clinched it. Spike had actually asked Cordelia for something. Okay so he'd said 'Oi, Cordelia, Cheese Puffs,' but he'd actually called her by name and showed an interest in what she was doing. Angel decided not to mention it to Spike, God only knew how tetchy the vampire could get at any accusation of being nice, but it gave him hope for their future.

The problem was his immediate future involved socializing with mortals at this party. Aside from those in his immediate employ, and those he was involved in saving, Angel had practically no social skills to speak of. Everything that came to mind either sounded childish (bad) or failed to make any sense whatsoever (worse). It bothered him that Spike had a better rapport with the outside world than he did. He sighed and looked down at the paper.

Spike grasped the top of the newssheet and pulled it down.

'I was reading that,' said Angel calmly.

'Bollocks, you were.'

'Oh? What was I doing then?'

Spike put his book down and snatched Angel's paper away completely. The dark vampire raised a suspicious eyebrow and Spike leaned back, a knowing grin plastered across his chiseled face.

'You were thinking, "Oh No, a party! And aside from the fact that you have to wipe away the pool of drool round my feet from the girls who see me, I have the all the small talk from the arse end of a walrus. Except people would rather talk to the walrus butt."'

He grinned at him.

'That cover it?'

Angel tried to frown, but found that Spike was too accurate to be annoyed with.

'Yeah, that's about it.'

Spike chuckled and winked at Angel.

'Don't worry, Love. You can just sit around and look pretty.'

'I'm going to stand out like a sore thumb.'

Spike looked at the vampire. Tall, impossibly good-looking with a sex appeal you could detect for miles. What else could he do but stick out?

'Love,' he paused a moment and then grinned pleasantly. 'Think about it. We're going to Cordelia's party to have a laugh. You're going there with me. You really think, once they've realised that you and I are shagging, that they're going to be able to say one word to you?'

Angel paused and thought about it.

Introducing himself to Cordelia's friends and just happening to mention that he was gay. Yeah, he could almost see himself doing that. LA was a liberal town in that respect. He could see himself being okay about that, Cordelia would probably tell half of them anyway. But then to introduce Spike as his other half...

It wasn't that he was ashamed of Spike. Having this hyperactive English creature in his life had made saving the innocent a lot more palatable. He wanted so badly to atone for everything he'd done, but it had made him so lonely. Not just lonely, unapproachable. And then there was Spike - a vampire capable of more feeling than he'd ever been able to admit to before. Unashamed of what he was, unfettered by so many of the hang ups that plagued Angel, he was...unique.

And how could he ever be ashamed of that.

'Thinking about me, Peaches?'

Angel looked at his lover and smiled.

'How did you know?'

Spike snorted and rubbed along Angel's thigh, nudging the hardening cock that had emerged.

'You're body's a lot more vocal than you, Pet!'

Angel laughed dryly and hoped his embarrassment wasn't showing too much.

'You have an effect on me.'

'Yeah I know,' grinned Spike, 'It's called sex appeal, Pet, you'd do well to realize you have some.'

Angel smiled gently and tilted his head; Spike's persistently stroking fingers making him squirm pleasantly.

'I do?' he asked innocently.

Spike slid his index finger up over the head and started teasing the now highly sensitive bulb. Angel moaned gently and pushed his hips up, wanting more. But Spike wasn't interested in giving Angel what he thought he wanted. There was so tension in his lover today - Angel really was bothered about being around humans. He came over all angst ridden and guilty everytime he was around one he didn't know. Spike was pretty sure that Angel wanted to apologize to everyone he ever met, just for existing. How he and the Slayer had ever managed to get to a point where Angel would have sex was beyond him.

But just look at the big Poof now, arching his back under Spike's ministrations. Spike suspected that one of the reasons the others had accepted his presence was because of the overwhelming improvement in Angel's demeanor. Angel turned to look at Spike and the younger vampire read the desire and need in his eyes easily. They were more than just partners, they were...he smiled...in love and it showed.

He started teasing the ridge running up the length of Angel's penis and moved his other hand to touch the supple lips of his lover. Angel opened his mouth and snaked his tongue out, tasting the sweetness of Spike's fingers. Angel grinned - he'd been sneaking do-nuts again. He slipped a finger inside his mouth and allowed his vampiric features to come over him, biting into the tender digit. Spike growled in appreciation and Angel suckled hard, feeling Spike's salty blood wash his throat, feeling the younger vampire tense under the pressure.

He relaxed his mouth let Spike's finger's slip from the wetness whilst he smiled.

'Come over here,' he asked.

Spike grinned and rolled easily on top of his lover. He could feel Angel's long body beneath him, his firm chest pressing against his own, his thighs rubbing blissfully against his own. Angel lifted his arms quickly, enjoying this closeness. Before Spike had come to him, Angel lived in fear of true happiness. He was afraid to let anyone in, bitterly burying himself in his new role. Cordelia had helped a little, her honesty refreshing in a town of phonies. But it was Spike, his wayward companion, who had allowed him to put his defenses down.

'You're getting heavy,' murmured Angel.

'Pig's blood, got more calories or something, Love.'

'Mmm? Afraid to admit you've got lovehandles?'

Spike snorted and straddled his sire.

'What bleeding lovehandles?'

Angel shifted his hips so that his cock pressed against Spike's ass and the blond leaned forward, fuck-me-now grin severely in place. He brushed his fingers against his lover's nipples and as Angel opened his mouth to sigh an approval, claimed it as his own.

Angel ran his tongues over Spike's, tasting the essential flavor of his lover beneath the sweetness of the do-nuts. It didn't seem to matter how many times he'd experienced this kiss; the longing and the need never dwindled. Passion was something unquantifiable, but Angel had admitted to himself that he had never felt this way about Buffy. With her, it had been something sweet and longed for, a love neither could claim. He'd been able to walk away; knowing that her life would be better without him, knowing that he could live without her. It was the knowledge that he HAD been able to walk away that differentiated that from Spike.

When his demon self had left Spike that night, he hadn't meant to leave the vampire for good. As Angelus, he'd intended to come back, with a sterner and less giving attitude. He hadn't meant to repeat that experience of emotion - it had made him feel weak, knowing that he was as fallible to love as the mortals he killed. To a point, he had done just that, taking away Drusilla from Spike when he had lost his soul in Sunnydale. He had seen the hurt on his childe's face and known how deeply it must have cut. To have the one person you'd loved in a century taken by the one love you could never have...he could only guess how much that had hurt.

He never wanted to be without him again.

Spike rubbed his thighs along Angel's, loving the knowledge that he had this effect on him. The cock which pressed against his own was throbbing, seeking out its place within Spike's sinewy body. He groaned lightly and Angel caught his hand in Spike's hair, reaching out with the other hand for something on the bedside table.

Crash

'Crap,' said Angel and stared up at Spike, 'I dropped that tub.'

Spike chuckled and started drawing his fingers up and down Angel's sensitive neck.

'I told you that you wouldn't like that human Shiite.'

Angel let out a faint 'mmm' and brushed Spike's hand away, leaning over to see the damage. The tub was smashed all over the floor; its unused contents mixed in with the glass. Not exactly the kind of lubrication he'd been looking for.

He heard Spike laughing and turned a quizzical face to his lover.

'What?'

'Love, it's not that I don't appreciate your thinking about our sex life when you shop, but that stuff's for humans and we're not.'

'I know, I just...well, it would be good to be able to watch the others eat without knowing what we'd done with things earlier.'

Spike grinned. He actually spent the past few weeks deliberately using everything that Wesley liked to put on his dinner. He knew that the demon-hunter didn't suspect, but Angel had actually managed a blush when Wesley had commented that the ice cream looked as though it had been attacked with a shovel.

He shrugged.

'Love, covering you in chocolate sauce, or syrup, or anything else I can get to hand and lick off you is a damn sight more fun than picking up a tub of something that actually says 'lubricant' on the cover.'

Angel smiled.

'Sweet tooth, huh?'

'Sweet bloody everything, mate!'

He got to his knees and started stroking his cock; his eyes half closed as Angel watched him.

'Now why don't you open those cupboards and find something you can eat off this?'

Angel laughed and then got out of bed, heading for the kitchen. Spike slowed down his pace, keeping his cock standing to attention, but not excited enough to cum. He heard several doors banging and the sudden sound of the microwave.

'Oi, Pet! I don't want my dick cooked from the inside out!'

'Shut up Spike.'

'Well, just watch it. Sensitive piece of equipment, this.'

'Oh yeah, cause I don't know that.'

Spike grinned.

'You don't know what it's like to have one this big, Pet!'

Angel appeared round the edge of the door. Or rather, a certain part of Angel appeared round the door. Something of worthy note, you might say.

Spike licked his lips, knowing that before very long, he'd feel that inside him.

'Not bad, Peaches, certainly worth a bite.'

Angel leaned round the door.

'I think I'll be doing all the biting today...Pet'

The microwave pinged.

Spike leaned back on the bed and waited expectantly.

Sure enough, Angel walked back in the room, erection bouncing happily from side to side. He had a steaming bowl in his hands, a spoon and a very wicked grin.

Spike raised an eyebrow.

'I may be hard as bloody nails, but I don't much fancy walking round the bash tonight with first degree burns on my dick, Love.'

Angel sat down and Spike smelled the unmistakable aroma of toffee and some kind of sponge.

'Sticky toffee pudding?'

'Ask and sometimes, you'll receive.'

Spike laughed.

Angel stuck his finger in the heated bowl and stretched its loaded contents to Spike's mouth. The younger vampire sucked and was pleasantly surprised that it was warm, but not scalding. As he devoured the sweet sponge, Angel moved round and started rubbing his cock against Spike's ass.

'I thought you were going to give me a good blow, Peaches?'

Angel bit down lightly on Spike's shoulder.

'I was hoping you'd let me delay that a bit.'

'Delay it? Why the fuck should I do that?'

'Because,' said Angel, sliding his now toffee covered cock against Spike's the tender opening, 'When I run out of things to say tonight, you can always fill my mouth with your best feature.'

Spike hissed in pleasure as Angel slid in.

'Would do Love, but how would you get the whole of my arse in your gob?'
 

*

On to 'She ra and the Party Poppers'