ethrosdemon ||| Buffy & Angel

Lothiah's Career Altering Day
by ethrosdemon HRH

EMAIL: naturallycalm@yahoo.com
Distribution: You don't want it
Disclaimer: Joss made it up, too bad he is an incompetent ninny. Mutant Enemy and others own the rights. No suing please.
Rating: PG
Dedication: To Lar who accidentally guilt-tripped me.
Note: This is complete offal. I felt a twinge of guilt for not sending anything at all for this improv, so here is my drivel—ENJOY!

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**PTB Headquarters**

"Lothiah, why don't you take a peek into the Spy-mirror and see what those Lower Beings who guard the Champion of Lower California are sabotaging now."

"I knew I should've stayed on the Plain of Figments this afternoon, crikey. Sacred glass of Python, show me the Visionary and the Protector."

**through the looking glass**

"Do you ever wonder, like, what the hell people get up to when they go away someplace else? I mean, have you ever thought that when you can't see them anymore they just disappear? Just kinda fade to black like a movie scene?

"There's a name for that delusion, Cordelia. It's called solipsism, and I'm not at all surprised that it's your personal mental disorder."

"What is your personal disorder, Mr. Crumpet-Butt? Having to check fifteen times an hour to make sure your Benny Hill tapes are still filed in chronological order? And, I don't actually think people disappear when they leave the room, I just wonder about it."

"What brought on this startling moment of almost human expression from you?"

"I was just NOT AT ALL day dreaming about what Gunn does when he escapes the personal hell which is sitting around here all damned day waiting for Angel to have a complete melt-down over Darla. I mean, why is that my job? Why am I the waiting to be an hors d'oevre girl with the special brain-liquefying headache sauce?"

"I would like to remind you that you are not the only one who has shouldered the burden of friendship and keeps vigil here to watch over our companion in arms."

"Oh right, so, you don't in fact have a new and improved Rock and Roll lifestyle? No parties and glamazons for you? I must've gotten hit in the head again."

"Indeed, sometimes I wish I were the one hitting you in the head with blunt objects, say a cricket bat?"

"Whatever. You know, there are easier ways to kill bugs than hitting them with bats. Kidding."

"Getting back to the topic at hand, yes. I have pondered Mr. Gunn's antics whist away from our supervision. Purely from a friendly perspective, naturally."

"Naturally. Do you think he's still getting himself into gonna-get- my-ass-killed kinda trouble? Yesterday his fists were a mess. That could just've been a regular fight, right? He dissed one of his homefries and they had to duke it out?"

"Well, Cordelia, I couldn't really speculate on that. Since I wasn't technically HERE when he was, I have no idea how he could have injured himself."

"Riiiiiiiight You know, one of these times you have to "rejuvenate" after a night out getting hammered on Cliquot I might have a vision. What would happen then?"

"You have now stooped to a new low, and not at all gracefully. Attempting to guilt me for enjoying myself is terribly beneath even you, Cordelia."

"Yeah, low blow, I hear yeah. I don't really mean it. I'm happy you are living it up. Sometimes I just say things because people expect me to. It's an old habit. From, you know, Sunnydale days. Engage mouth, disconnect brain."

*sigh * "Yes, yes, your psychology is rather transparent. You're still a bitch."

"And here I was about to offer to make it up to you by hopping over to the bakery and coming back with moist and delicious yumminess for us to scarf. Bribe-cake."

"You look like you could do with some sort of food, so get a move on."

"Whatever. I just have a high metabolism."

"Like the metabolism of a rabbit?"

"I really hate you."

"Make sure it's chocolate."

**back at HQ**

"Why couldn't I have pulled the Rwandan Hellmouth detail?"



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