ethrosdeomon & Lar ||| Buffy & Angel

Falling IV - Glide
by Lar & ethrosdemon

EMAIL: naturallycalm@yahoo.com =and= HERE
Distribution: List archives, our own sites, ask and you shall receive.
Disclaimer: Joss and Mutant Enemy own the boys, we just pretend that we do. We have nothing of value, do not sue us.
Rating: Hard R
Pairing: X/L
Spoilers: 5x5, Sanctuary
Summary: The boys have some quality time.

========

Paper-work and more paper-work, and the fall-out from the Faith situation never seeming to end, Lindsey doesn't know which end is up, or which path has the least brambles. He can't believe Faith turned to Angel instead of killing him //what is it with this guy? Like moths to a flame. Should've listened to Xander//

*buzz *

Punches the intercom button with more than the usual level of annoyance, and wonders if Jennie knows that one of these days she's going to buzz him at the wrong time, and he's going to just toss the whole phone through the window. Right after his chair, and possibly followed by his desk and any clients who are stupid enough to be in the office with him when he snaps. "Yes?"

"Mr. McDonald, you have a call from a Mr. Harris." Bad mood instantly lighter, and it's rare for Xander to make a call to his work. Lindsey knows how much he hates the idea of people listening to them on the phone, and it makes him nervous to say he's Mr. Harris. //it wigs me to sound like my dad, OK?//

"Put it through." Picks up the handset, and there's his boy.

"Lin?"

"Xander, calling to gloat?" //Wait, no he has no idea how bad the whole Faith thing went// Lindsey hasn't brought her up again, because he keeps seeing Xander's face tightening at the mention of her name. He also knows he might let the fantasy of wanting to go set fire to the jail where she's currently incarcerated slip. Stand outside and listen to her scream a little, not really something to share.

"What?" Good, he's got his own agenda, and Lindsey's relieved to not have to explain himself, back-peddle on the brain malfunction he just had.

"Nothing. What's up? Is there something wrong?" Momentary jump in his chest, there's nothing supposed to be wrong, and tonight he gets to see Xander. Only thing keeping him sane today as he creates his back-story for the Faith debacle.

"Yeah, but not of the life-threatening variety. I have to work, I can't make our meeting."

"The hell you do. Get off." Not angry, no, just relieved it's something that simple. Hates knowing that there is so much truly bad shit in the world that most people are blissfully ignorant of, and, therefore, never need to fear; wishes that's how it is for the two of them as well. Demons all around us, alternate universes opening almost at will, end of the world immanent on any given day.

"I can't - new job, low man on the totem-pole. I have to work." Stubborn tone to Xander's voice, even though Lindsey knows he wants to see him. It's the streak of "do right" that runs ten miles in every direction right through Xander's personality, and it gets him every time.

"Then quit." Not an order, nothing like that, but not quite a suggestion either.

Exasperated sigh on the other end of the line, and he can *see* Xander rolling his eyes. "I have to pay my parents rent, Lin. God, why is everything always so simple for you?"

"This *is* simple. Quit and I'll give you money." It makes sense to him, after all. Xander hates the jobs he's been carrying on a sporadic basis. Dull as dirt, minimum wage and usually exhausting him with ridiculous hours. It's not as if he's found something he likes doing.

"You want me to be your whore?" Lindsey's not sure of the tone that's being taken, whether or not he's joking or if he might be upset, offended.

"That's not exactly how I would put it. You're my boyfriend. I want to take care of you. And your job gets in the way of me seeing you." //This concludes my opening arguments, your honor...//

"So, it's the whole sugar daddy thing. I think people might notice that I'm not really working." But his voice is more amused and less neutral now. Lindsey thinks Xander enjoys getting him into what he calls 'lawyer-boy' mode every now and then.

"Have they noticed that you have a lover on the sly? One who leaves marks all over you?" Last three words drawn out, intending to make Xander blush on the other end and think about the places some of those marks have been. Thinks of a few of the marks he's found on his own body and wills away the beginnings of a hard-on.

"Thanks for reminding me how pathetic my life is. Fine. I'll do it. Cash up-front." Xander sounds like he's back into uptight mode, and that's just not going to work here at all. Flirting requires the other person to flirt back, or at the very least enjoy it a little bit.

"Your life isn't pathetic. Jesus. Your self-esteem really needs a kick in the ass." Lets his irritation hit the conversation finally, and he really didn't want to do that. Not with Xander. That's what Lilah's for.

"What's up your butt today?" Tone of concern rather than insulted pride or hurt feelings, and that's enough to settle Lindsey back down a notch for the moment.

Rubs his hand over his eyes and tells him, "Work. I'm having some problems. I can't talk about it on the phone."

"Right, code 15, insect on the line." Theatrically overdone whisper and Lindsey can't help but laugh.

"Right, Mr. Slick, I'll see you tonight." //see him and raise the self esteem, among other things//

"Yes, you will. Gotta get back to the research thing." Lindsey picks up the sound of other voices coming closer to wherever Xander is standing, and at least one of them is definitely female and impatient as she asks Xander "Do you want to go work for the phone company or come back and do the book thing like we're supposed to?" Doesn't ask who the hell it is, despite the fact the question almost leaps out of his mouth on its own.

"Tonight then. Bye." No endearments on the phone when he's at work, and it's hard not to call him 'Xan' or 'baby' or say something else much more personal.

"Bye" A second of hesitation before the phone clicks, as if he hates to go, and that's almost as good as hearing something more blatant. In a considerably better humor than he was when the day began, Lindsey turns his thoughts back to work.

// "I told you he wouldn't be easy. He can't be bought, and apparently he can't be killed - even by a vampire Slayer. - Rumor has it he used to actually date one."// He knows that Slayers come and go, don't live long, rapid expiration date. Lilah's rumors are almost always dead wrong, but he can't get that one out his mind. Files it away to look into it, after he stops by the police station. Maybe tomorrow then, because that would be cutting it close with the drive to Sunnydale. Not enough hours in the day.

And the hours reserved for Xander are top priority, no matter what else might be trying to encroach on them.

======

Xander lolls next to Lindsey, feeling alive and sated. He wants to tell him every detail of his life to date, spill it all, get it in the open. The way he used to feel about Wills. He keeps some things back, feels the guilt like a hard knot under his breastbone, but just can't broach the Anya topic. Feels her hovering over them sometimes, like a ghost of lies and half-truths. Just can't bring himself to mention it, and the longer it goes, the harder it is to say anything.

"Did I ever tell you about Graduation?" Beginning another of the talks they've gotten into the habit of having when they're relaxed, when they've gotten past the initial grinding need that always hits them as soon as they're together.

"No." Lindsey turns onto his side, props his head in his hand and looks down at him. He's been eating again, and gaining some weight. Looks more like the Xander of old and less like the wreck he was when Lindsey finally tracked him down. It gives him a warm spot, right in the pit of his belly, to know that he's part of the reason Xander's getting better. Also knows that Xander being back with him is the reason he's stopped drinking almost entirely. He keeps waiting for Lilah to kick in with some snotty 12-Step Program remark whenever their client lunches extend to cocktails, but she seems to be biding her time for other efforts.

"We blew up the school." Eyes unfocused and a little far away with the remembering.

"Why would you do that? You were getting out anyway, shoulda done it earlier." Grin from Lindsey, and that brings him back.

"It was a demony ascension thing. He was gonna eat everybody. He got some anyway." Flash of recall inside Xander's head, screams, shouts, crack of bone. The odd whooshing sound the vamps made as they were staked.

"Anyone you knew?" Over on his belly now so he can stroke Xander's hair away from his face. Begins to understand a little more what it's like to be on the other side of the demonic interaction from the way Xander's eyes darken while he's thinking of it, carnage, and people he knows dying horribly.

"Of course. Other people died from vamps, shrapnel, that kinda thing." //People I knew, people who dissed me every day, and it doesn't matter, still wrong//

"You get hurt?" Head down on Xander's shoulder, comfort through cuddles, something they both seem to need with no sign of it lessening in the near future.

"Not too bad." Little sigh, indrawn breath and Xander's eyes close. Lindsey waits a few minutes, adjusts himself so his ear is pressed to Xander's chest, steady thumping beat beneath. Wants to kill everything that ever touched his boy and made him hurt, made him sad or ache. Includes himself on the list of things Xander would probably be best without.

Lindsey shifts again as Xander rolls, comes behind him to wrap him up. Odd protective gesture considering what they were talking about, but then maybe not. Lindsey wonders if Xander carries some of the blame inside himself for any of the kids who didn't make it, or if maybe this is just worry about him and the demons he knows he deals with every day. "The first demon I ever saw, well and realized it, was a Blirag. You know what those are?"

"Not good with the demon names. What did it look like?" Chin in the crook of Lindsey's shoulder, his voice a little garbled because he's getting that heavy feeling to his limbs, the drifting off kind of languor that they both only find when they fall asleep together.

"Purple, horns, scales. The normal thing. I thought it was a joke. That they were pulling a gag on me. It was my first week in Special Projects. I thought it was just a really good make up job." Smiles to himself, feels Xander echoing it against his shoulder.

"How did you figure out it wasn't?" Small kiss on the back of his neck, arms tightening him up into a closer spoon, and Lindsey lets himself slip into it. Nice to be held like this for a change, to be covered with Xander as his blanket.

"It spit on me." Soft chuckle into his hair, and Lindsey feels his breathing change as Xander tumbles into sleep. Closes his eyes and stays awake a little longer so he can enjoy the sensation that will end far too soon, woken by the alarm for the drive back to LA.

============

Sitting up in bed, Lindsey against the headboard, Xander between his legs, back to his chest. Comfortable tuck of soft cock on the bumps of Xander's spine, both of them drowsing with fingers entwined. Lindsey doesn't want to fall asleep yet.

"Xan, tell me something else. First thing that pops into your head." Drops a kiss onto the top of his head, inhales the scent of his hair, which Lindsey strongly suspects is Johnson & Johnson's baby shampoo.

Xander thinks a second. "I had syphilis at Thanksgiving."

"What?????" Lindsey startles, bumps his head against the headboard. " Ok, you might have mentioned this before, and who gave it to you? Talk fast."

Xander's grinning at him, twisting his head so Lindsey can see. Not joking, Lin can pick that up, too. "It wasn't like that. It was a spell. This Indian spirit did it to me."

"Why?" Tumble of odd thoughts, Xander accidentally insulting the spirits by pissing on their ceremonial burial ground, because the line at the bathroom was too long, and he just took it outside.

Watches him turn his head back around, hears him sigh as he gets back in, and his eyes start to close. "Wrong place at the wrong time, story of my life." Miniscule shrug of his shoulders creating some interesting friction between Lindsey's legs.

Head to one side, Lindsey ponders the possibilities of making this a no-sleep night. Disengages his hand from Xander's and begins to run fingers through the thick glossy curls. Xander leans towards the stroking like a cat. "Were you in the wrong place you met me?"

"Don'tcha know it." Completely deadpan, not even the hint of a smile or the flicker of an eyelash.

"Better watch it, syphilis boy. You sure that's all cleared up?" Fingers tightening in the thick hair, Lindsey tugs his head back until Xander opens his eyes and meets his gaze. Sees his own wave of desire echoed in Xander's dark stare.

"I don't know. You had any body parts dropping off?" Snakes a hand back and finds that all of the body parts on Lin are in fine working order.

Open smile on Xander's face as he offers to check things out. Just to be sure, you know how it is. Lindsey has no objection to that at all.

========

Another night, another hotel. Sitting on the floor on top of the bedcover, devouring a makeshift picnic. The girl at the 7-11's getting to think of them as regulars, and when Xander sees her outside of the place when he's walking with Willow, the girl waves to him. He steadfastly pretends he didn't see a thing and asks Wills to explain all about crystals. She talks for the next twenty minutes and never remembers to ask him about the girl. One of the things he loves about her is Willow's intense and easily utilized desire to share knowledge.

Lindsey's turn to talk tonight. He's using the bed behind him for a backrest and eating Oreos. Does it the good way, too, twisting them apart to scrape the cream off with his teeth, licking the stubborn traces with his tongue then crunching up the cookie. Xander approves, and not just because he gets to watch all the tongue action. Well, OK, maybe mostly for that reason, but also because it makes Lin look like he's a kid. Equal footing. Nice image.

Xander pokes him in the arm, reminds him to answer the question.

"Being a lawyer isn't what I expected. Especially with the clients I handle. I just wanted to have some security. Money in my pocket and a way to keep it that there." Still intent on the cookies, not looking up. Not avoiding Xander so much as not happy with talking about a job he literally hates, one that rules every minute of his life that he isn't with Xander.

Xander sneaks a cookie from the pack and gets himself a shove for his trouble and a quickly snatched kiss to make up for it. "You get all the nastiest cases?"

"Not all of them but enough. It's hard to leave it at work."

"I would imagine it bleeds into everything you do. No, I don't imagine it, I know it. And it's not even my job, just a hobby." Thinks of how much his life is only about time spent with Lindsey or time spent with the rest of the gang doing research at the at Giles'. How the other parts of his life are the ones he wants to make go away. Not so much end them as go back and make them never happen. No one gets hurt that way; Anya never gets all wrapped up with him, and he could walk away right now without the fear that doing it will result in a horribly painful death or some eternal curse that leaves him praying for death instead.

"Hobby?" Lindsey quirks an eyebrow at him before grabbing the milk and taking a mouthful.

"Yeah, some people have model boats, others hiking or out-doorsy stuff, I have vamp-slayage and demonic research." //Milk and cookies was never like this// He finds himself wanting to lick the milk moustache from Lindsey's lip. Leans over and does it, interrupting the entire discussion and getting himself a very enjoyable grope in the process. Soft skinned lawyer-hands, no calluses from the work he does, slipping between his legs and touching him with easy familiarity.

"Maybe you should take up water-skiing." Suggestion whispered in his ear before the mouth making it moves down to nibble his neck, lick across his shoulder, trail wet kisses over his chest. Dip into his navel and warm sucking pressure on his cock.

"Thought about that. I'm keeping my options open." Voice a little breathless as Lindsey continues to work on his own new hobby.

===============

Dinner at some steakhouse Lindsey noticed on one of the rides down to Sunnydale. About half an hour out of town and no chance of running into anyone either of them knows. Xander has a moment when he sees some guy in fatigues, but it's not any of Riley's friends that he recognizes so he relaxes.

Beer and steak and baked potatoes. Talk about how things are for each of them without mentioning how much they're both beginning to hate the distance, the time apart, and the fact they have to hide things from everyone. The only one who actually notices any change in Xander's life is, of course, Dawn. She's relieved to see him shifting back towards the familiar Xander that she knows and loves, but always with that odd looks he catches on her face now and then. He knows she can tell in some way that he's not altogether comfortable with his life as it is. He gets the funny feeling that if he sat down and told her what was going on, she would think a minute and say "Here's what to do and everything will be alright." Of course that's not going to happen. But still and all, having her there playing Guardian Angel is pretty much alright with him. Grounds him when he's away from Lindsey, especially with everyone drawing tight into their own little spheres recently.

"It's not like I care that they have their own lives now, I mean, hey, I have this whole thing going on, and they have no clue, but I just miss them, you know?" Walking out to the car, continuing to explain what's been sitting on his chest for the last few weeks, Lindsey listens and nods his head.

"Have you tried to talk to them about the way you feel?" Unlocks the doors and the both get in.

Xander makes a sound of disgust. "When? Buffy's so up Riley's behind I can't see her head half the time, and Willow is to caught up in school." Pauses to consider Willow and the way her life has been turned inside out much the same as his. And still they never manage to talk about it, not at all. "I should've been there for her more over the Oz thing, but I was so fucked up myself I couldn't even put in that much effort. Does that make me a bad person?" He really doesn't expect Lin to tell him that he's scum for being a little self-involved during his whole death-wish- suicidal-mind freak-out, but it helps to hear it negated anyway.

"Xander, I deal with murders and rapists all day. A little emotional distance doesn't even register for me. You had your own problems. Did she ask you about that?" Lindsey takes Xander's hand and pulls out of the parking lot. Heads back to Sunnydale.

"Uh?" Hates to admit to anyone else, even Lindsey, that the only one who really asked him how he was doing or made an effort to keep him from starving to death was a 12 year old girl who has a crush on him.

"Right, so, fuck them all." Squeezes Xander's hand and tugs him over closer.

"Your personal motto." Half smile, and Xander rubs his free hand up the inside of Lindsey's thigh, cups him between his legs.

"Yup." Shift, push into Xander's hand, and he's half way hard already.

"If you drive a little faster, we can be putting that motto into action in about 15 minutes."

Xander grins as the car accelerates smoothly, and pops the button on Lindsey's jeans. Tugs down the zipper and slips his hand inside, feels bare skin against his fingers. Catches his breath when he realizes. "Counselor, you have apparently lost your briefs."

"We had an efficiency expert in to discuss ways to save time in the workplace. I figured I should show some initiative and apply it outside of the office." Lindsey grins, risks a glance away from the road, makes Xander blush with the look on his face. Takes full advantage of the situation and pushes Xander's head down, gently, but firmly.

They end up getting lost somehow, but Lindsey doesn't care about the extra driving.

=end part iv=

Falling Part V: Nosedive



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