ethrosdemon ||| Buffy & Angel

Dissonance Part VI: Finale
by ethrosdemon HRH

Email: naturallycalm@yahoo.com
Distribution: Lists archives and everyone else ask, unless you already have the other parts.
Disclaimer: Joss made it up, too bad he is an incompetent ninny. Mutant Enemy and others own the rights. No suing please.
Rating: NC-17 for violence and dark, dark themes
Pairing: A/X
Dedication: Lar and Donna for their support through this entire series
Note: This is the last in a series. It follows directly from `Crescendo'.
NoteII: It was up hill on this one. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. There might end up being alternate endings.
Spoilers: Gen seasons 5/1

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Weeks of nothing but sleep, and now I can't buy my way across that river. No rest for the wicked. Usually the out-and-out evil sleep well, however. Darla and Xander every time I close my eyes, their faces floating there, interlacing and merging into one ghastly look of horror.

Horror at the realisation that my voice wasn't the echo of the steady beat of death's wings.

Both so sure that what they want is really the fulfilment of my own longings. Who would not become the sire to their own sire? To switch positions, reverse the balance, and be needed instead of needy. Especially, me, right, Darla? The original Oedipal Complex poster- child. Kill the mother and make her a child unto me. Become the Father. No one above me, all beneath.

Something so much sweeter to savour, my darling. You suffering in your new human skin. Feeling the decay creep in and knowing that sudden illness or a freak accident could mean the end. The real end, where your payment comes due on the other side. You might remember nothing, see a void where your time in hell should sit in your memory, but I know if I be damned, you are all the more so.

Not that I don't feel a pang. Not that I haven't walked through hundreds of scenarios of Darla back by my side, but this time her not being able to exist without me. Her tied to me as my childe is a candied variation.

Which brings me to the slightly more bitter, pained face of Alexander.

The flicker of sure death in his eyes. After so long, I thought he knew there were myriad situations worse than dying. So many he'd already followed me through.

--"You'll have to either have faith in my continuing shame over the entire affair, or you can finally come and finish what you started with me."

"Don't tempt me."—

Expected the finish.

Neither of them seem to be comprehending that the fun of other people's death wishes is in NOT granting them. Drawing out the pain and whirling with the dance.

Misery loves company. Welcome to my world, Darla and Xander.

Dwelling on these thoughts is only keeping sleep at bay, not bringing it closer.

Let's see what Cordelia's up to. I'm starting to bore myself, and she should take my mind off of my inner passion play.

****************************************************************

"And then the First Slayer tried to off us in our sleep."

"How, by smothering you while you were snoozing?"

"Uh, no. By murdering us in the dreams…now that I think about it, I'm not sure how that was supposed to work."

It couldn't have been a summons from the PTBs to liven the evening up. It had to be Xander arriving on my doorstep. Turn around and walk away. This doesn't have to happen now. Not fooling myself, might as well see how this unfolds.

What did I expect? Of course he came here. No call from Giles, no visit from Buffy. He kept it to himself so that he could fuck me in a special way. So it could be Xander's. So the revenge would belong to only him. No one to share with or have to explain to. Underestimate him every time.

"What're you doing here?" His head turns so slowly, I almost think he knew I was there already. Sable hair curling around one eye, electric blue t-shirt and jeans. And a smirk rarely seen on the sane.

"Rude much?" Fuck why couldn't it have Wes…because he probably waited outside until he knew it was just her. So he could get her alone. Richer for him that she's in the middle, and there are just the three of us. Tilted my hand on her, and now he will use the advantage against me.

His motion is fluid, so he must be almost completely healed. Just a half-cast from his hand to mid-way up his forearm to show he was ever damaged. Well, that and the somewhat unsteady cast to his eyes and mouth.

His back to Cordy, his face to me, and I see there's another reminder. Teeth wounds. His collar is hiked up, and I can only see the upper edge of the top one indentation.

"I asked you a question." Tight smile and white knuckles from Xander, petulant mouth and hand on hip from Cordelia. She's got her hair down, the light shimmering off of it casting a halo. Suffering the afflicted to come unto you, Saint Cordelia?

"Just thought I'd drop in and ask why no flowers? Or chocolates. Or something, because isn't it normal when you send someone to the hospital to acknowledge it? Isn't that the pattern? Abuse and grovel? Where's the `I'm sorry, Alexander. I did it because I love you. I did it because you asked for it. It won't ever happen again'?" Shifting to stand in front of his chair, block Cordelia's line of sight so she can't see me.

""Xan…Angel…what's going on? How does Angel have anything to do with your being in the hospital? I thought you got the smack laid down on you patrolling." Her face contorting, bafflement and outrage battling for the features. Where are her wheels turning? I might still be able to deflect this. Get him out of here, and keep her out of the know.

"Fuck `em and leave `em, huh, Angel honey? Couldn't even drop me at the Emergency Room?" There are many paths, and you must choose one. Xander chose for all of us.

The walls feel like they're collapsing inwards, and the crash of every wave on every beach I've ever heard magnified to deafening proportions.

Only twice before, but I know this feeling as though it's happened every day of my unlife. My knees giving, grasping for the half-wall by the entranceway to support myself. The whirlwind picking up and carrying me away. Want to warn her to run run, get away before…

Can feel the tug. Like a hook attached to my navel suspending me to * something* unknown releasing.

"Oh my boy. What have you done now?" Roll my head back and around, once clockwise, once counter, get my bearings. Assess what needs to be done here, not really assess, which I've already done countless times in my mind imagining such a scenario. Set into motion what will happen here.

Both of them staring at me, neither cautious, both three heartbeats from dead if I choose.

Get rid of the girl, first order of business. This isn't about her, not her time. Her reckoning will come sometime later.

"You'd best point your tits at the door, and run as fast as those skinny legs can carry you." Isn't she the hidden fire in this place. Quicksilver, and she's grabbing for some anti-vamp weaponry under the table.

"Angel, this better be some kind of not-funny-at-all joke." Lives too close to my skin to not know the truth. Move out of the doorframe, and get Xander flush between us to block a swiftly loosened crossbow bolt or holy water spray.

"You couldn't kill me if you tried, but if you did try, your one chance at seeing this day end from this plane of existence is annulled." Alexander, waving his cast at her, not turning, just motioning. Keeping both eyes on me, the daily war too well settled on him to be distracted by her shuffling and stuttered non-words.

"Leave while you can Cordelia." And yet the stupidity never ceases, because she's beginning to take on indignation around the periphery of her body. Makes another move for her weapons. Don't want to kill her right now, a move to do so might leave me open to attack from behind from the whelp.

"Girl, I know you have better instincts than this, and I'm feeling generous, so I'll repeat myself. Stay and die, or leave and live." Leaving on those words, but only to run to Wes or Gunn, make a call or two, summon in the cavalry to bring me in, bring me down, curse me again, and stake me.

She might even think Xander's gone bad and it's an act to let her out to fetch them.

"Gotta give you credit for the acting job, but you can cut the Angelus routine now, you shit." Might not have been lying when he said he'd changed. Full grown and not afraid of the likes of Angel. Not afraid after being beaten down and raped. I knew he had potential, the bitterness too strong for him to stay down long.

"I'm wounded to the quick, lover." Can't hold back the hand to the heart, or the sarcastic, stricken face. Ah, but I love to be me. Especially, when I see his posture tighten, just that fraction, and his scent start to pick up spice.

"What?" And there's the half-step back and the appraising once over. Close in on him to allow him a better perspective to inspect of subtle differences.

"It's the real deal. No more curse, not that there was that huge a dif, not for you anyway." Breath starting to lose its rhythm, and he schools his face to blank.

"You were just lying to me when you came to Sunnydale?" His gasp to my laughter, and this is so familiar. So very…deliciously right.

"No, there are few lies between us. My re-emergence is newly birthed." Out of a constellation of emotions, he picks anger. Jaw clenched and eyes wrinkling at the corners. Yes, it was fate that brought this day to me.

His cast falls to dust beneath my fingers before he even registers movement. The mew might have started before his brain processed that the pain was coming from his wrist.

"Why would you confront an enemy with so obvious a weakness? Have you learned nothing? Just like Spike. `Fuck the plan, let's get to the killing part.'" The pain must be intense, because his face has taken on a death-pallor except for two red spots high on his cheeks. Slight full-body tremble. Can see it from my one-foot distance, holding him immobile with two fingers.

"I thought you wanted me to believe you aren't my enemy, lover. Get the fuck off of me." Spit running from the corner of his mouth. Pain causing the gland beneath his tongue to geyser. Reaches up with his free hand to wipe, but not quick enough. My tongue there first. Nectar so sweet even the Olympians would be jealous. Wrath, fear, lust, all of my favourites.

"Lover, foe, what's the difference. Weakness is weakness, and you should never show it. You might as well have a gaping chest wound. Wait, now there's a plan." No fight since the pain is so high he's on the edge of losing consciousness now. Kick his feet out from under him and fall with him, on top of him. Retain the hold on the wrist. Burrow in close to the warmth that will fade with the hour.

"I told you that you would beg me. Is that what you're doing now, Alexander, begging me to kill you?" His eyes are still anvil hard. Licks his lips. Bucks once to see if it will get him anywhere.

"How the fuck did you lose your soul between last week and today? I'm not buying this farce. You're just a sick fuck, Angel. You want to pretend in front of Cordelia so she doesn't hate you for what you really are." Twists his head to the side, exposing my mark fully. Just a taste, I've got to have one, wee taste. Enough suction and all the clotting in the world can't keep that blood coagulated when I call it.

"Don't squirm." Incremental increase of the pressure to his wrist, and he falls to absolute stillness, save for his chest pushing me up and lowering me back down.

"I have you to thank for the lifting of the curse, baby. When I saw you sitting there chatting it up with my property, I couldn't hold back the rage. My world went scarlet, and there was nothing but the scalding hot anger and you." And the memory of my Sire, but that's my thought pebble to shine and buff with repeated remembrances. My distraction, that's what you are to me, Xander. My something new. Roll my body to the side and off his chest. Work my right hand under his shirt and trace a pattern there. My secret pattern. Scratch hard enough to draw blood. He winces, but can't pull away because of the wrist.

"Nothing else. No guilt. I let go of the guilt to let the rage take over, and we all know no guilt equals perfect happiness. It was all you. You get the special surprise." Uncoil my muscles and shove with just * that * much force and feel his ribs give under the pressure. Eyes springing open, and I can see the irises surrounded by white. Gulping for air that can't get to the broncules filling with blood. Dip two fingers in the puncture where a tip of bone is sticking through the skin. Suck them in my mouth, so much more where that came from, and it will be pinking me up shortly.

"I like patterns. Remember the first night I drank from you? I broke your ribs that night too. Not a perfect circle, because we're too far from the graveyard, but close enough." His breathing is laboured, and I can hear the wet sucking sound. Piece of rib broken off in his lung. Blood starting to well up in the corner of his mouth. His face pulling into his deathmask.

"An..Ang.." Frothy blood more than words passing his lips.

Lean in; lick where he's parted his mouth to suck for air. Let the wrist go. Can't really get away now anyway.

"Don't worry, Alexander. You won't be dead for long. The pain will be a bitch when you wake up, but when those ribs knit, you'll be right as rain."

Left lung is full of blood by now, and I'm stalling. Trying to hold on to those last seconds of heat. His eyes have already fallen closed.

"I love you, darling boy. My shining one. You'll never leave me, will you?"

I know you won't. Couldn't let me go as a human, how much more will you need me as your Sire?



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